Questions And Answers
From Teaching Respect & Responsibility to Children By J Dobson

Listed below are a few of the questions I have been asked in my casework with parents and by various groups to whom I have spoken. Many of these items were selected from actual tape recordings, representing the recurring themes for which answers were sought.

1. My son will obey me at home, but he becomes difficult to manage whenever I take him to a public place, like a restaurant. Then he embarrasses me in front of other people. Why is he like that? How can I change him?
2. We hear so much about the importance of communication between a parent and child. If you suppress a child's defiant behavior, how can he express the hostility and resentment he feels?
3. How long do you think a child should be allowed to cry after being punished or spanked? Is there a limit?
4. Permissiveness is a relative term. Please describe its meaning to you?
5. We have an adopted child who came to us when he was two years old. He was so abused during those first couple of years that my husband and I cannot let ourselves punish him, even when he deserves it. We also feel we don't have the right to discipline him, since we are not his real parents. Are we doing right?
6. Do you think a child should be required to say "thank you" and "please" around the house?
7. How do you feel about working mothers?
8. I have never spanked my three-year-old because I am afraid it will teach her to hit others and be a violent person. Do you think I am wrong?
9. You mentioned boundaries a moment ago. Does a child really want to have limits set on his behavior?
10. Should a child be punished for wetting the bed? How can you deal with this difficult problem?
11. I have spanked my children for their disobedience and it didn't seem to help. Does this approach fail with some children?
12. We hear a lot about the "battered child" syndrome today. What kind of parent would beat up a defenceless little child? How serious is the problem?
13. If it is natural for a toddler to break all the rules, should he be punished for his defiance?
14. Should teen-age children be spanked for disobedience or rudeness?
15. Sometimes my husband and I disagree on our discipline, and we will argue about what is best in front of the child. Do you think this is damaging?
16. My husband and I are divorced, so I have to handle all the discipline of the children myself. How does this change the recommendations you've made?
17. Do you think parents are now beginning to value discipline more? Is the day of permissiveness over?